my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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