So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
