May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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