I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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