I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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