Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize