Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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