If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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