Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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