At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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