"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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