so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
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I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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