yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize