You were right. It hurts to walk today.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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