Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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