DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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