had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
