So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
