Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
