You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
