im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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