sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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