He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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