Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
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i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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