you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
