literally had 100 drinks last night.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Even my vagina gasped.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
