In the future we'll all be gay
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
