So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize