I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
