he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
