im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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