I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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