Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
