:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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