I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
