yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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