Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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