My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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