you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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