jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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