Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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