He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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