Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
