lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
