Sry I called you an 8
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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