Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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