ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
