I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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