Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
