booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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