How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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