Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
