"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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