I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
