Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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