maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
