how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
