I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
