Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
